Zombie Mountain™ Zombie Blog

Rule #1.  Murphy’s Law pertains to zombies, if something can go wrong it will.  Unfortunately, this might mean the 350 page zombie survival plan and SOP, which you have spent the vast majority of your life creating, may need to be modified.  We recommend not spending too much time creating highly specific zombie survival plans.  Instead, follow simple rules and be ready to adapt to emerging situations.  Make your plans to fit the circumstances.

Rule #2.  Involve the entire group in the decision making process. Involving others will allow the group to arrive at a consensus through democratic means, and help to maintain basic order.  Wait for someone to suggest an idea you think is good, and agree with them.  Honestly, the list of alternatives should be pretty short, so don’t worry about the obvious escape plan going unnoticed for too long.   By seconding the idea you boost it to the top of the list of alternatives. Be wary of group members who attempt to dictate group actions.  Invariably, a doctor or a lawyer will attempt to assert their dominance over group decisions.  This should not be tolerated.

Reports have been coming into Zombie Mountain™ of zombies running the Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill response effort.  In response to these reports, Zombie Mountain™ has officially elevated the ZOM™ alert level (Zombie Outbreak Manageability Scale™) from All Clear to Zombie Watch.  The entire Gulf Coast region is currently under a Zombie Watch.  A Zombie Watch means the conditions are favorable for a zombie outbreak.  Concerned citizens should ensure they have prepared their zombie survival go-kits, and stocked up on the necessary supplies for their homes and vehicles.  Be cautious when traveling to and from this area.  The U.S. Government in cooperation with BP has recently elevated the “oil spill” response effort to include closing down beaches and quarantining areas along the coast preventing access to citizens and the media.  It appears possible that there is an existing zombie outbreak, and the government is in ZOM1 cover up mode.  BP, the company responsible for the ongoing oil spill, has not yet admitted to the possibility of a zombie outbreak associated with the response effort, and maintains the likelihood and the potential impact of a zombie outbreak on response efforts is low.  Similarly, BP maintains the position that the potential environmental and economic impact of the ongoing environmental catastrophe is also low.   Zombie Mountain™ is currently sending assets to the area to locate and identify potential zombies. If you have seen a zombie please do not hesitate to submit a report.

In the context of zombies this means; because of the uncertainty associated with how zombies are created, and exactly how the zombie infection might be spread, and since we assume the level of effect would be catastrophic, we should take at least minimum measures to prepare.  We cannot possibly prepare for every contingency. However, we can prepare ourselves for a number of scenarios based on the prioritized risk associated with high level factors such as infectiousness, vectoring, expected physical abilities, perceived mental capacity, geographic population density, etc.  Typically in a risk assessment the factors used to characterize the risk are identified, and prioritized.  Those factors found to be high priority are devoted the majority of the resources. 

Zombies are thought to carry and transmit a highly infectious but yet to be identified pathogen.  Please note: the Solanum virus is a fictional virus created by Max Brooks for purposes of entertainment.  Since there are no formal qualifications for the title “Zombie Expert”, we end up with a considerable amount of useless and misleading information from them.  Zombie infection could potentially be caused by any type of pathogen (i.e. viruses, bacteria, prions, etc.).  By knowing general exposure routes for these types of pathogens, we can take measures to reduce our exposure to them.  For example viruses and bacteria are typically transmitted through direct contact with; bodily fluids, contaminated surfaces, and infected tissues.  Prions are primarily transmitted through consumption of infected bodily fluids and tissues. 

Considering the general routes of exposure for the suspected types of pathogens, we can identify the potential transmission routes of the zombie pathogen and mitigate for them.  Consider wearing safety equipment which will reduce your exposure via the primary routes.  Put together a Zombie Go-Kit, and prepare your home and car.  It's time to Get Prepared.

The Global Zombie Information System™ (GZIS™) will provide the framework for reporting and communicating information about zombie attacks in near real time globally.  Reports will be submitted by members of the Zombie Mountain™ surveillance group, and network of citizen observers.  Observer forms will be submitted online at ZombieMountian.com.  Zombie Mountain™ will collect and process the information and provide updates via the Text Message Alert System,by email, and online at ZombieMountain.com.  Zombie Mountain™ is planning a June 1st release date for the new tool. 


"The Global Zombie Information System™ is the most groundbreaking development in zombie survival planning ever conceived".  Nate R.(West Palm Beach, Fl)

For Information contact: info@zombiemountain.com

Zombie exposure including being bitten by and/or sexual relations is a medical urgency not an emergency, but decisions must not be delayed.  If there was consent, we submit you may need more help than can be provided here.  For those readers who do not have a predisposition to necrophilia please read on.  Any wounds should be immediately washed and medical attention from a health care professional should be sought for any trauma due to the zombie attack.  Often victims of zombie attacks will exhibit signs of a condition known as post-exposure paranoia (PEP), resulting in an overwhelming drive to conceal their exposure to others.  If you suspect a person of being bitten by a zombie use caution and attempt to subdue the potentially exposed individual until authorities arrive.  Always remember, termination of potentially exposed individuals should be evaluated under the advisement of a physician and/or state or local health department official.

Note: Often witnesses to zombie attacks will feel compelled to initiate termination of exposed individuals and suspected zombies.  This is normal, but discouraged. 

If you really want to survive a zombie invasion, you are going to want to avoid selecting any of the Wiki Top 5 Zombie Survival Plans (here). 

The real problem with the first plan, the superstore, is the lack of originality.  Guess what.  Everyone...including the zombies, will have Costco at the top of their poorly designed survival plans.  The stores and malls will be like zombie buffets.    Need proof, check out Walmart on Black Friday.  Now that's scary. 

#2 The get out of town plan is not without merit.  But I hope the zombie invasion is a secret that only you know about, because the highways will be parking lots.

#3 The boat.  A row boat would be a little crowed, and incapable of carrying enough drinking water and supplies for the crew for any extended period of time.  A power boat will need gas daily, so I hope this works for you.    A sail boat.  Aye Captain, so a seafaring pirate, arghh!  What do all those ropes and pulleys do? 

#4 Get High.  I'm listening.  Into the mountains where it's frozen, to slow down the zombies.  Are we talking about the same thing? 

#5 The battle bus.  Finally, a plan with a little forethought.  Cuz we can!

OK, so we can criticize. But can we do any better you ask?  We think fortifying the home is a great first line of defense.  As long as you tell the insurance company the improvements are for "storm protection" (i.e. leave out the zombies), you should get a nice discount!  Stock your pantry with at least four weeks worth of canned food, and bottled water, enough for each house member.    Build an arsenal, "Ill give you my gun when you pry it from my cold 'undead' hands". Own a 4X4, make sure it's always full of gas, and maintain the emergency roadside kit.  Keep plenty of extra gas in storage containers, at least 20 gallons.  What's next...Stay Tuned.  We are just getting started.


Top 5 Zombie Survival Plans
Source: Wiki

1. Take over a giant food/hardware type store (Walmart, Sam’s Club, Costco, etc)
2. Get out of town – as far as you can. Live off the land and conduct period raids into more populated areas for supplies.
3. Get off the land entirely. Grab a boat big enough for a small team of survivors to live on and plan to collect rainwater and supplies from periodic trips ashore.
4. Get high. Go to the greatest elevation and most remote area you can find and count on the cold temperatures and long winters to keep the undead moving slow or frozen.
5. Arm yourself and others and travel to a nearby mall. gather all the food and block off the doors. Wait for the zombies to leave to find easier prey or attempt to leave in a fortified car or bus.

Hey Ash..You might want to hold off on grabbing your chainsaw and shotgun until after you read this.  Zombie invasion preparedness starts with having the right supplies, and more importantly a  plan.  Get some of your friends and relatives on board with your plan too, well at least the ones you like. Uncle Frank thinks "your crazy", well forget about him.  It's a numbers game, and the key to surviving is making sound decisions, let's face it...it could be your last.Here at Zombie Mountain™ we are devoted to helping you get prepared, and making sure you have the right information needed to survive a zombie outbreak.

Do you really want to get into a battle royal with a horde of zombies?  Why not  RUN!  You could be walking right into a zombie ambush.  Live to fight another day.

We are just getting our site up and running now, but check back soon...and meanwhile feel free to share your thoughts and comments.  Our experts are here to help, but we can always use a good idea.